In the early 1970s my parents were in the process of separating, and by 1975, the year of my bar mitzvah at Toronto’s Holy Blossom Temple, their union was toast. Father drove to the ceremony in a blue three-piece suit, uncharacteristically formal. My maternal grandfather, nose in a prayer book, didn’t acknowledge Father’s presence. The parents sat several rows apart in the spacious sanctuary.
Our spiritual leader, the man officiating, was Rabbi Gunther Plaut. A famous figure in the Reform Jewish movement, he insisted on distinguishing himself from the Orthodox. He refused to wear a kippah.
My mother, whose family was traditional, met him in the parking lot. They walked to his office and sat on the couch. Mother pleaded with him. She explained that my grandfather, an ailing refugee, would be heartsick if the rabbi’s head was uncovered. Plaut said no. If it had been a private ceremony, he would have considered it. But he could not wear a kippah in public. It was a matter of principle.
Bio:
GIDEON FORMAN is a Toronto essayist and short story writer. His stories and essays have appeared in the Dalhousie Review, the Globe and Mail, and the New Quarterly. His memoir “Toronto in the ’70s and the Future of Public Transit” appeared in the Spring 2023 issue of Queen’s Quarterly.